Another Phase Of My Health Challenges

As mentioned in a previous blog, I was initially diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and then came the autoimmune disease diagnosis. Those two health challenges on their own were enough to make my everyday life very difficult and then one day I realized I couldn't handwrite anymore.

At first I tried to ignore it. I even excused it, thinking that it must be because of the anxiety. I didn't want to mention it to my doctor until I had a better understanding of what was happening.

For the next several months, I was noticing changes with my hands. For example, on certain days I had trouble holding a glass of water because my hands were shaking too much. On other days it was as though everything was back to normal.

The one thing which was consistent is the inability to handwrite. No matter how much I would try and no matter how much I practiced writing, it just never came back.

Six months into this new health challenge I noticed that when I would wake up, I would feel tremors inside my body and that my hands were shaking violently. Not shaking like when you are nervous but rather shaking as though something had taken control over them.

A few days later I had an appointment with my neurologist and I had decided I would mention to him that my hands have been shaking off and on, for several months.

I was hoping he was going to say that it was a side effect to one of my medications. I went to my appointment and before I could even mention it to him, he saw my hands shaking. He made me do a few tests and asked me a few questions.

It’s at that point that he diagnosed me with essential tremors. He said that just like my autoimmune disease, it’s genetic and there is no cure for it, only treatments which can sometimes help with the symptoms.

He also mentioned that some people who develop essential tremors progress slowly and that for some people it gets much worse, faster.

He couldn't tell me how mine would develop, but he did his best to reassure me and tell me he would do whatever was in his power to help me along the way. So before I left his office, he handed me a prescription and said he wanted to see me again in a month.

I was relieved to see that within a few short weeks the tremors seemed to be under control. I still couldn't write but at least my hands were not shaking all the time. So at my next appointment my doctor recommended we continue the exact same treatment. He asked me to return in three months for a follow up.

When I returned for my follow up appointment, the tremors had returned. This time they were

constant. So he increased my medication. For almost a year everything except for the ability to write, were back to normal and then…

One morning I woke up and I could feel the tremors in my body. I had trouble keeping my head straight because it was now shaking like my hands. Again the doctor increased my medication in the hopes it would keep it under control.

The medication could only do so much is what he told me and unfortunately my essential tremors were offering a lot of resistance to the treatment.

So I started researching:

• What is essential tremors;

• What triggers it;

• Treatments available for it;

• And what I could do to help myself.

According to the Mayo Clinic essential tremor is defined as: Essential tremor is a nervous system (neurological) disorder that causes involuntary and rhythmic shaking. It can affect almost any part of your body, but the trembling occurs most often in your hands — especially when you do simple tasks, such as drinking from a glass or tying shoelaces.

They also mention that the essential tremors can be aggravated by emotional stress, fatigue, caffeine or temperature extremes

There is no cure for essential tremors but there are treatments such as medication which can include : Beta-blockers, anti seizure medication, tranquilizers and finally there is a surgery available to certain patients who have severe tremors but it isn't a guarantee that it will take all of the tremors away.

Finally, what can I do to help myself : I can avoid caffeine,manage stress better, learn to relax, and make lifestyle changes. For example, use my hand that is less affected to hold my spoon or fork during meal time. Practice meditation. Use my keyboard to write instead of handwriting, if I can't avoid handwriting then write with a heavier and thicker pen or pencil, etc.

These days I avoid any stimulants such as stress, caffeine, I take the time to relax daily, either by doing some meditation, journaling, practicing mindfulness, etc.

I have also learned to accept who I am and love myself no matter what. I try to remain calm whenever I feel frustrated with myself because I can't do a certain task the way I used to. I try to find another solution and if I really can't do it, I ask for help.