The Invisible Disease They Made Fun Of.

You probably have seen those posts on social media inviting people's awareness to the fact that it's not because you can't see an illness or disorder that it means it isn't there.

I was so pleased to see the posts circulating on social media, because it gave me hope that maybe, just maybe some people will think before passing judgements on someone else’s condition and daily battles.

I know many people who struggle daily in silence because they are afraid of being judged. I have a wonderful, kind, loving and amazing friend who struggles with fibromyalgia. She is a strong and resilient woman, who although has her own struggles is always available to help the people she loves.

I also have another friend who was diagnosed as being bipolar and she also suffers in silence and tends to isolate herself when she isn't feeling well. She is such an intelligent, loving and resilient person and she too helps those she loves, the best she can.

Someone else I know has been struggling with depression and anxiety for years and you know what? This person also isolates when she isn't feeling well but she is the type of person you can count on whenever you need someone by your side.

I am sure you know people who are struggling with health issues and they too suffer and struggle in silence. Whenever you ask them “how they are doing” they either answer “I am fine” or “I am ok” even though they are not.

Do you know why they do that? It isn't due to pride or ego but rather from a place of feeling vulnerable and scared of being judged.

Here is an example: A while back, although I had my own health issues, someone I thought I knew showed up at my house visibly upset and overwhelmed. She couldn't get herself to calm down and like anyone who loves someone, I took the time to listen to her and assist her the best I could.

After a while, she calmed down, feeling much better she eventually returned home. For the next several months, I would assist her when I could and I would visit her to check up on her. Just to make sure she was alright.

Several months later, a few people told me that. “She was going around saying that I wasn't sick, that I look perfectly fine and that I must be faking being sick in order to get attention.”

I was horrified when I heard what she had been saying about me. In fact it absolutely broke my heart. All I could think of was: “I loved her so much, respected her and I wondered how she could be saying those things about me.” I also questioned myself about “how I could have allowed this person into my life and not see she was toxic.”

It took me a while to make peace with the situation. I understand now why people aren't always forthcoming when it comes to revealing to other people how they are really feeling or what they are struggling with.

The one other thing I became aware of with time, is that judgment rarely comes from strangers, don't get me wrong I know that some strangers will judge us but the judgment mostly comes from people who are the closest to us such as: family, friends and colleagues. The fact that those people think so little of us, is what hurts the most.

To those who act that way, I just have one thing to say to you. If you invested as much energy educating yourself as you do judging people who are sick, you would be surprised as to how much smarter you become.

To those who experience that type of judgment, please remember what the famous author Don Miguel Ruiz, wrote in his book, The Four Agreements : “Don’t take anything personally because by taking things personally you set yourself up to suffer for nothing.”

Plus what other people say about you is not a reflection of the type of person you are but rather a reflection of themselves and of the type of person they are.

I personally prefer knowing the type of person I am dealing with, that way I don't waste my time and energy on people who are toxic and make room for people who are kind, considerate and respectful.

Thank you to my family and friends for being in my life.

You guys are the best and I love you so much. xxx

Nath