Invisible Battles: Why We Must Stop Judging What We Can’t See.

You’ve probably come across posts on social media reminding us that just because you can’t see someone’s illness or disorder doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

Every time I see one of those posts, it gives me hope — hope that maybe, just maybe, more people will think twice before judging others. Because behind many smiles, “I’m fine” responses, and seemingly normal lives are real struggles, silently endured.

The Pain Behind the Smile

I know so many people who live with chronic or mental health conditions that aren’t visible to the eye. They battle every single day but keep quiet out of fear — fear of being misunderstood, invalidated, or judged.

One of my closest friends has fibromyalgia. She is kind, loving, and strong — always there for those she loves, even while silently navigating her own pain. Another dear friend lives with bipolar disorder. She tends to withdraw when she’s not feeling well, yet she is one of the most intelligent, resilient, and generous people I know.

Someone else I care about has dealt with depression and anxiety for years. She, too, isolates when struggling — yet she’s the type of person you can always rely on. No matter what she’s going through, she shows up for others.

If you stop to think about it, I’m sure you know people who are also quietly battling something. And when you ask how they’re doing, the answer is often: “I’m fine” or “I’m okay.”

But the truth is — they’re often not.

Why People Stay Silent

They don’t hide their pain out of pride or ego. It’s about vulnerability. It’s about the fear of being

seen as weak, needy, or dramatic. Too often, it’s safer to stay silent than to risk being misunderstood or dismissed.

I want to share a personal story that still lingers in my heart.

A Personal Betrayal

Some time ago, while dealing with my own health issues, someone I deeply cared about came to me in distress. She showed up at my door visibly overwhelmed and unable to calm herself. Like anyone who loves someone, I sat with her, listened, and supported her as best I could.

She left feeling better, and over the following months, I continued to check on her and help however I could.

Then one day, I heard through others that she had been telling people I was faking my illness. That I looked “too healthy” to be truly unwell. That I was just seeking attention.

I was heartbroken. Completely crushed. I couldn’t understand how someone I cared for so deeply could speak that way about me. I questioned myself: “How could I not see the signs? How could I have trusted someone who turned out to be so toxic?”

Why Judgment Hurts Most from Those Closest to Us

What I’ve come to understand is this: Judgment rarely comes from strangers. It comes from those closest to us — family, friends, colleagues. And that’s what makes it hurt so deeply. These are the people we hope will understand us, support us, believe us.

To those who judge others’ health or struggles, I want to say this: If you invested as much energy into educating yourself as you do judging people, you might be surprised by how much wiser and more compassionate you could become.

A Reminder for the Silent Fighters

To those on the receiving end of judgment, please remember this powerful truth from Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements:

“Don’t take anything personally. By taking things personally, you set yourself up to suffer for nothing.”

What others say about you reflects them, not you. Their judgment says more about their character than it does about your truth.

Personally, I’d rather know who someone really is — even if it hurts — so I can stop wasting time and energy on the wrong people. Instead, I make space for those who are kind, compassionate, and respectful.

To the Ones Who Stay

To my family and true friends — thank you for being in my life. Your presence, your love, and your understanding mean everything to me.

You are the reason I keep going. You are the light that makes the hard days easier.

I love you all so much.—

Nath