Living with Essential Tremors: Embracing the Struggle and Finding Strength.

A few days ago, something unusual happened. I woke up, as usual, with tremors in my hands. I’ve lived with these tremors for a while now, and they’re a daily part of my life. I suffer from a neurological disorder called essential tremors, and while I’ve gotten used to the shaking, it doesn’t make it any easier.

The tremors make basic tasks like turning off my alarm clock, switching on the light, or even holding a cup of water incredibly difficult. Though you never really “get used to” the tremors, you do reach a point where you expect them. My neurologist told me there’s no cure for essential tremors, but there are medications and surgeries that may help manage the symptoms—though they won’t cure it.

What’s even harder to accept is that essential tremors gradually worsen over time. My doctor warned me about this, but if I’m being honest, I was in denial. I didn’t expect them to get any worse—I had hoped they would stay confined to my hands, but they did not.

Living with essential tremors isn’t always something others notice, but it affects nearly everything I do. Simple tasks like drinking a glass of water without spilling it or eating with a regular spoon or fork become more and more challenging.

Thankfully, I’m not at the worst stage yet. My hands have been trembling for a while now, making it nearly impossible for me to write with a pen or pencil. This means I’m constantly asking for help when I need to fill out forms or sign documents.

And then there are the moments when I have to explain myself. Going to the bank, for example, means explaining to the teller why I can’t sign my name like I used to. Putting on eyeliner is another challenge, as is taking my medications without spilling or dropping something.

Over time, I’ve had to get creative with solutions, and I’ve learned to swallow my pride and ask for help. Most people are kind and willing to lend a hand, but sometimes, that’s not the case.

I remember one incident at Canada Post. When it was my turn, I asked the lady behind the counter if she could help me fill in the address on the envelope. Without a second thought, she gave me a cold, annoyed look, waved me away with a dismissive hand, and said, “I don’t have time. Move out of the way so I can help the next customer.”

I was shocked. I felt so hurt. It’s hard enough to ask for help, but when someone responds that way, it cuts deep. For a few weeks after that, I avoided asking anyone for help, and that meant avoiding things I could no longer do on my own. But as time passed and I reflected on the situation, I realized that most people are kind and understanding. One person’s ignorance shouldn’t stop me from living my life.

But then, just this week, something changed. The tremors, which have always been in my hands, began to spread. Now, my head was trembling. I couldn’t keep my head steady, no matter how hard I tried. Panic set in as I rushed to the mirror and saw it for myself—my head was shaking uncontrollably.

This was a new development. I guess this is what my neurologist meant when he said that the tremors get worse over time. Thankfully, after about an hour and a half, the tremors in my head subsided. But it was a reminder that this disease is slowly taking over my nervous system, and that thought is terrifying.

But I’m not giving up. Instead, I’ve decided to take control of what I can. I’ve made lifestyle changes and adjusted my diet to help manage the symptoms. I take my medications as prescribed, and I do my best to maintain a positive outlook despite the challenges.

Some people turn to alcohol or CBD oil to manage their tremors, but those aren’t routes I’m willing to explore. I prefer to seek alternatives that align with my values and who I am. There has to be another way.

So, for now, I hang in there. Time will tell what works for me, but I refuse to let this disease dictate my life. Every day is a new challenge, but I continue to face it with determination and strength.

To anyone dealing with something similar, know this—you are not alone. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to be vulnerable. And it’s okay to be afraid, but don’t let fear stop you from living. Keep pushing forward, and take it one day at a time.

Final Thoughts: The Power of Resilience

Living with essential tremors has taught me a lot about resilience and the importance of finding support in the small things. While this disease may change the way I live, it won’t define me. I will keep fighting, keep seeking answers, and most importantly, I’ll keep living my life—one day at a time.