Step by step, little by little, and a hint of perseverance.

I remember when I was housebound how overwhelming the idea of leaving my house felt like. The anxiety and stress surrounding the situation made it as though I was paralyzed with fear.

I could not walk out my front door. This meant, I could not go to the doctor’s office, I could not get groceries, I could not attend my children’s plays and activities at school, etc.

I did not understand what was going on with me, why all of a sudden someone who had been independent became so fearful of everything. All I knew is that I wanted to be able to leave my house feeling better again, and I did not know how.

For a very long time, I had to deal with this situation and condition with no professional help.

Eventually someone who I swear was sent by God helped me along the way. She too suffered from an anxiety disorder, panic attacks and was housebound.

She explained to me that what I was suffering from was an anxiety disorder. She shared information with me about the different types of anxiety disorders, panic attacks etc. She came into my life, just as I was losing all hope of ever finding out how I could feel better again and what was happening with me.

Eventually, she opened up an organization which helped people like me. She even created a program where people like me who could not attend support groups could get help directly from home.

Within a short time, I had a volunteer who would come to my house once a week and help me.

This man was also a godsend, because he taught me different ways of addressing the anxiety and made me feel heard and accepted for who I was. He encouraged and coached me all the way. Whenever it felt like it was too difficult for me, he never pushed me - he respected my rhythm, which allowed me to thrive.

One of the things I learned through the program (and with the help of those wonderful people), was to take it one step at a time.

Because I was housebound, it would not have been in my best interest to attempt to visit different cities right away. Therefore, during our first visit we assessed the situation, including what my needs were, along with what I expected to get out of the program. He also took the time to explain to me what the program consisted of.

Once I revealed what my needs were (such as: I did not know how calm myself down during a panic attack), I needed to be educated about anxiety, and I needed someone who would help me along the way but not push me.

During the second visit, we established a plan, which we would work on throughout the next few months. I started by writing down a list of things I wanted to do again.

You could visualize the list as though it was a ladder made up of 10 steps. Each step represented a goal I wanted to achieve. The first one would be a goal I could achieve with a bit of practice - the tenth goal would be much harder to achieve, but realistic and doable with practice and the proper tools. Every step in between would be progressively harder, until we reached the 10th goal.

Following this, every week we worked at achieving those goals. I say “we”, because we worked together to make it happen. He encouraged me, taught me tools and helped me along the way, and I committed to doing the exercises and gradually exposed myself to what I feared.

I also kept a journal of my journey, of my successes, how I sometimes had to readjust my perception of things or how I could make it easier on myself. My journal also recorded the frequency and severity of the panic attacks I was experiencing: I would look at each panic attack and estimate if it was manageable or if it was extremely difficult on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being fairly easy to manage and 10 being extremely difficult).

What made it easier for me to trust and try harder was the knowledge that this person respected me, knew about my limitations and that he would have brought me right back home if it ever was too hard for me.

I added an exercise to this article that will help you along the way.

If you choose to try this technique, you will notice that as you progress you also became more self-confident in your ability to manage the anxiety, stress and panic attacks.

Goals setting

If you did not have an anxiety disorder, what would you like to be able to do? (Remember this goal has to spark joy in your heart and be realistically achievable.)

First goal:

Second goal: Third goal: Fourth goal: Fifth goal: Sixth goal: Seventh goal: Eighth goal:

Ninth goal: Tenth goal:

In between each goal, remember to take baby steps to help you along the journey.

For example:

The first goal (the easiest goal to reach) - let’s say you wanted to be able to walk on your street. What could you do to make this situation easier on you?

First goal: Walking on my street a) I could visualize achieving this goal for several days before attempting it.

b) I could post notes on my wall, which would help me affirm with confidence that I will achieve this goal, such as: I feel safe when walking on my street. c) I could decide to change my fearful thoughts about that goal, whenever they come up, with something much more positive. For example, instead of “this is never going to work”, you could change this thought to “with practice and commitment, I know I am able to achieve this goal in due time.” d) etc.

Do the same with the other steps. Remember that you can alter your goals at any time and that you can readjust your way of confronting them at any time as well.

Now here is the best part. Once you have achieved this goal, what will you treat yourself with?

For example: it could be a book, a nice scented candle, etc.

Remember to reward yourself for your achievements, this lets your brain know that you are taking your power back.

DISCLAIMER: Information and techniques used to help me feel better are based on my own journey. The information on this site should never replace your healthcare provider’s medical advice.